HURLEY: Okay, that thing in the woods, maybe it’s a monster, maybe it’s a pissed off giraffe, I don’t know. The fact that no one is even looking for us, yeah, that’s weird, but I just go along with it because I’m along for the ride, good old fun time Hurley. Well guess what? Now, I want some friggin’ answers!
-”Numbers”
TRICIA: It’s everyone’s fantasy — winning the lottery — untold millions falling into your lap overnight. What would you do with all that money? Well, one such lucky winner recently bought a chicken shack. I’m Tricia Tanaka with Hugo Reyes, winner of a record 114 million dollars, outside Mr. Cluck’s Chicken in Diamond Bar which will be having its grand re-opening tomorrow. So, Hugo, I think the question on everyone’s mind is: why did you buy Mr. Cluck’s? HURLEY: Uh, I like chicken.
-”Tricia Tanaka Is Dead”
HURLEY: Dude…. Nikki’s dead.
SAWYER: … Who the hell’s Nikki?
-”Exposé”
MILES: Where the hell did they go, Tubby?
HURLEY: Oh, awesome. The ship sent us another Sawyer.
-”The Economist”
And now, Hurley sums up the first five seasons of LOST!
HURLEY: Ok. See we did crash. It was on this crazy island. And we waited for rescue, and there wasn’t any rescue. And then there was a smoke monster. And there were other people on the Island. We called them “The Others”. And they started attacking us. And we found some hatches. And there was a button you had to press every 108 minutes, or…Well, I was never really clear on that. But, the Others didn’t have anything to do with the hatches. That was the DHARMA Initiative. They were all dead. The Others killed them. And now they’re trying to kill us. And then we teamed up with the Others because some worse people were coming on a freighter. Desmond’s girlfriend’s father sent them to kill us. So we stole their helicopter and we flew it to the freighter, but it blew up. And we couldn’t go back to the Island because it disappeared. So then we crashed into the ocean and we floated there for awhile until a boat came and picked us up. And by then there were six of us. That part was true. But then, but the rest of the people who were on the plane, they’re still on that Island.
-”The Lie”DR. CHANG: Your friend Faraday said that you were from the future. I need to know if he was telling the truth.
HURLEY: Dude, that’s ridiculous.
DR. CHANG: What year were you born? What year?
HURLEY: Uh… 1931?
DR. CHANG: You’re 46?
HURLEY: Yeah. Yes, I am.
DR. CHANG: So you fought in the Korean War?
HURLEY: There’s… no such thing.
DR. CHANG: Who’s the President of the United States?
HURLEY: All right, dude, we’re from the future.
-(“Follow the Leader”)